Yesterday, I said some things that I regret, and for that I am sorry. They came across as extremely negative (which they were) but I believe I let my emotions get carried away with me, and for that, I'm sorry. What I'm not sorry for is my actions. In high school I was no more mean to fellow classmates than anyone else in my school, yet I feel I took the brunt of the backlash.

I would hear how bad my attitude could be, and how bad of a person I was because I would bash people behind their backs. At work I'd hear it. In class I'd hear it. At lunch I'd hear it. I'm sorry I said a lot of what I said. And although it doesn't make it right, others said *exactly* the same things as me and it was no big deal.

I feel I was cut no slack. It was simply established that Jason was mean, word got around and caught on with the school. I felt I could do no right. I was (and still am) the person who people turn to to help them through a problem. It's a role I cherish. But I didn't have a person to confide in about problems I had. For a while it looked as though Blue could be that person, but she's graduating this year, and we haven't been close since junior year. T.E.N.T. could've been that person, but a crush enveloped that ruined the friendship and brought even more pain that I wasn't able to share. Like I've said so many times before, it's a type of seasonal depression I get. It seems my life is always in shambles in May, and I don't feel better until around August.

I made myself feel better today by treating myself to 94 cent menu items at IHOP. I was given a T-shirt by the radio station that sponsored it too. I'm feeling better already.

Jason

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