Even as I speak, two dalmations are sitting at my gate, barking and wimpering. I believe I should start at the beginning...

Minutes after hanging up with Britt, I walked outside with a handful of CD's (including Radiohead, Nikka Costa and Blu Cantrell.) After ten minutes, I saw a dog at my window (which was rolled down) that I recognized as one of the neighbors. Thinking it would just go away, I continued to listen to music, and fiddle with my neon lights. Then the dog climed through the window, stepped on my CD's, and like the raven in Poe's famous work, refuse to leave. Back and forth it climbed in my car, figuring how to escape the barracades I had set up (like setting the arm rests at the upright position.) After turning off the music and gaining trust, I was able to coax it out the side passenger door.

Together we walked down the street, and as I was next door to the owner's house, their second dog, also a dalmation but much smaller, began to walk with me. I turned around and noticed that the doors were still open from coaxing the other dog out. As I began to get closer to the car, both climbed in, leaving me with the task of outsmarting the two hyper dalmations.

Water didn't work. They weren't thirsty. So as a last resort, I grabbed the smaller one by the collar, and got him out of the drivers side door. But he went to the passenger side back door, sniffed noses with the larger dog, and weazeled itself in for a second time.

Now I was frustrated. I grabbed it by the collar again, led it out again, and closed all of the doors, leaving the larger dog in the back seat in the dark. I then led the smaller dog into our gate, locked it, and was able to get the second dog out. I locked both in the gate, and my sister gave me the genius idea of opening the gate and letting both out. Once both were out, it didn't resolve the problem. In the middle of this entry, the dogs apparently jumped the fence, and are on the front porch. Plus, my keys are in the ignition, my CD's are in plain sight, my stereo face is still attached, and the doors aren't locked.

Update: Right now they are scratching at the screen door, which is broken. What a time to break. My sister locked the door and turned off the light in the living room, but they are barking and looking in the door. Damn, it's really loud. Sounds like someone trying to get in. Shit. I can hear them more than ever. I better open the gate to let the dogs out (sorry, couldn't resist).

Jason

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