Forgive me father for I have sinned.

I've had crushes on all types of girls. Drama queens, high maintenance girls, tall girls, short girls, brunettes, blondes, shy girls, boisterous girls, deceptive girls, class officers, popular girls, outcasts, vegans, vegetarians, smart and dim girls, rural girls, girls with curls and girls with the world in their eyes.

We can add another type to the list.

I had just finished taking my history test and I was excited to get home. My sister has an event at her school, and events mean Mistie will be there. While walking to the shuttle, I saw a very attractive tall brunette wearing a dark summer dress. She wasn't too skinny for her height and I would be walking past her in a minute. As I got closer, she turned, said hello to me and extended her hand. As I looked up, I noticed a black glossy badge with the following written in gold letters:

Sister Stock

The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints.

D'oh.

Even if I were ballsy enough to put any kind of a move on her, it would get me nowhere. It'd be like washing a car on a hot summer day one drop at a time.

"Where are you from?"

"Salt Lake City."

"Oh. Where?"

"Just Salt Lake."

"Oh. Because I have some friends that live in Salt Lake. In Magna and West Valley. Are they near you?" Technically they are near me. The cities are both out west a little farther than I am. I told her they were kind of near me. It reminded me of last year's conversation with Emily about how she lived in Kearns and when I told her my approximate address, she asked if it were near downtown. I guess it is, but when you're living in a city that's the size of a box two miles away may as well mean downtown.

One of the things I began to realize was just because I lived in the capitol and the states largest city, doesn't mean life revolves around us. People from Ogden, Logan and Provo have everything (but the occasional sporting event and concert) in their own city. I'm egotistical to believe that they revolve around us. I guess that most Americans feel that way about our country. We expect the world to speak English. Sometimes I have to stop and realize that Ogden is its own city, not just a branch of Salt Lake.

And so the conversation continued with me looking her in the eye as she squinted intensely to avoid the noon sun still concentrated in the east, the direction she was facing. Her face appeared to have glitter on it. Maybe I was seeing spots. Maybe the glitterish purplish hue I saw was just sweat that didn't build up or go away. After all, it was a record high yesterday at 92, and it was likely 85+ when we were speaking.

She went on to ask me if I believed in God, knew about the prophets and asked if I thought about why I was here. She told me the Book Of Mormon would answer those questions. She also tried to sign me up for an hour long appointment to be taught about the religion. She may have signed me up for it anyway when she penciled me in for a 12:30 meeting next Wednesday. I couldn't say no. She was too attractive. Had she been a he, it'd be easy to walk away. I should have just walked on by like many others did or said we were already members. At least that my sister is. A few Mormon related items are sitting in front of me right now. Plus, she sounded so sad when she told me that God had helped guide her through difficult times in her life. I thought she was going to cry on the spot. She told me that God loved me, she reminded me of the appointment she wrote on the back of her card, and with that, we parted.

Why do these things always happen to me? Why is one of the most attractive girls on campus also the least available?

Random Tullycraft lyric:

"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.

And I don't care."

-Bailey Park

P.S. As I was cooking, I decided not to copy/paste a copy of this into a word processor figuring it'd be fine on its own for ten minutes. When I returned, I was greeted with a message telling me that the internet had committed an illegal procedure and that it would close. So all of this has been retyped from memory. Sister Stock doesn't have the ability to do that, right?

Jason

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