Date: December 11, 1999.

Dance: Holiday (or for the non-religious) Winter Dance.

Earlier that day, G, Jesse, Michael, Weazel, B and I went sledding (much like my sister did today) in an event I will never forget. I was low on gas as we drove the 15 or so miles toward the final destination. I feared I wouldn't make it home.

The trip was a blast, other than the part where I couldn't find them after promising to meet them at the bottom of a hill. Since they were lost, I decided this was as good of a time as any to get gas, so I coasted downhill unaware if I was going the correct way back into the city.

When I finally got back to the city, all I had with me was the change from the door. I quickly scooped up the quarters, and bought about $2.50 in gas, just enough to get me back up there and home again.

We leave, and I give Weazel a ride home. After this, only hours before the dance, G, B and I head to McDonalds (before Wendy's became our permanent eating place) and discussed the date ahead.

Because my main group of friends didn't go, I didn't have Britt to plan everything. This lead to my date C-Lee coming up with everything that sounded good on paper. First, we'd meet at her house, drive down the street to the Spaghetti Factory to eat, then we'd head to the dance, and after we'd go to an improvizational comedy show much like "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

When I left for her house, all I had was my suit, my wallet and my dance ticket. I had spaced out even buying her a corsage, and even worse, I hadn't remembered to bring my formal shoes. The picture is ridiculous. Neither of us look normal, and I'm wearing tennis shoes with a suit.

So rule 1 for a successful date: Don't forget your formal shoes.

I drove to her house, brought my suit along, through it in the back of The Girl Who Only Sleeps And Cries' (henceforth known as The Cryer) Suburban and we were off to dinner.

Dinner can never go well when the only dialogue you can remember years later is that one of the other girls in the group on your date had a crush on you back in the day while you were trying to hook her up with someone else. The other couple decided against the Spagetti Factory, and instead went somewhere else. They told us they'd meet us at the dance.

We went back to her house so I could change into my suit. At some point, her parents and siblings came home. Her dad was cool. We talked for a little while. Her older brother didn't seem to care about anything other than tickling C-Lee. She did have a baby sister that was adorable. She kept staring at me from her crib.

Rule 2: Be careful when you meet the parents.

We left again in The Cryer's Suburban again after she picked up her dates.

No, I didn't say 'date' as in only one. I said 'dates.' You see, The Cryer had experienced a breakup, but still decided to go to the dance dateless. Another guy in the group doubled as her date and another girl's date, which makes the group picture of him standing with his arm around two girls with them clutching him even more funny. At many times, The Cryer slept and cried and lived up to her name.

Rule 3: Keep it under control when your date is spending more time comforting her friend than she is paying attention to you.

The dance was packed, and was held at school in the ballroom. The ballroom is only about the size of two regular sized classrooms. Thus making it a tight squeeze for the hundreds of people in attendance. Dancing close took on a whole new meaning.

We did only dance a few times because everyone in the group was giving The Cryer too much attention.

Rule 3: Find out about the emotional state of your dates best friend before you ask her.

We got in line for pictures, where it was apparent C-Lee didn't want me to put my arm around her.

Rule 4: If your date doesn't really want to be touched, pick up on that sooner rather than later.

We headed to the improv show, and I enjoyed it, other than all of the time before the show began (and even as the show began was spent comforting The Cryer thus ruining the show. By the time we got back to C-Lee's house, I didn't even want to look at her. We just said 'bye to each other, and she went in her house and I drove home.

So in a roundabout way, the date was bad, and it likely woiuld have been easier had I only listed the key points, but there's no fun in that for me.

The stats:

CD: The Promise Ring (Very Emergency)

Drive home quote: " ."

Total spent: not much more than $80.

Coincidence between that day and today: Tommy Lee on MTV.

Shocking fact learned: She has a nice waist to hold for dancing.

Interesting fact: She loves hanging out with emotionally unstable people.

Post date interaction: Nothing but bad. She�s evil! She�s mean! She called me a nerd and insulted my appearance!

Grade date: F

Jason

Previously on Apexsensatin : Now on Apex : Apex Archives : Next time on Apexsensatin