Two years ago today, T.E.N.T. had come back into town to visit her family for Christmas vacation. After six months of not seeing her and letting everything settle, my feelings were exactly the same as they were in June. This time, I wouldn't forgive, forget and run back to her. I was going to contact her. Only this time, she wasn't going to listen to what I had to say to her. She was going to get it in writing.

So after a one act play, a dozen drafts of letters, a few breakdowns and deciding our friendship was on the urge of ending, I drove to her house, dropped a letter off on her porch, and let our friendship and my feelings for her literally rest in her hands.

T.E.N.T.,

Over & over in my head I've thought about and written what I'd say to you when you came back. What I came up with were a lot of painful emotions that would have just ended up hurting you.

After 4 months, and more specific the last 8 months, I've seen how you went from such a sweet "mysterious" girl in junior high, to an intelligent well-spoken freshman before turning 180 degrees this year. You were my best friend. But then Take 5 (a collection of student plays) came along, and I saw what I think is the true side of T.E.N.T. It just took this environment to bring it out. Over the course of 6 weeks (mainly the Take 5 cast party, Sadie's (Sadie Hawkins dance), Spring Fest and the drama banquet) At those events, you probably said no more than a few sentences to me. You drifted further and further from apart from not just me, but our entire group with the exception of Sariah.

When I think of our friendship, I no longer think of the good things. All that comes to mind is how you've changed, and how bad I've felt as a result. With that in mind, I'd have to say our friendship is on hold. I've tried and tried for months to do the right thing. Now it's your turn. If you really REALLY care about our friendship, you need to take the initiative. You need to call me, or write me, or speak to me in person. I'd like to put the past behind us. I�d like to keep in touch with you when you go back to Wisconsin.

But keep in mind that if you don't call me, talk to me or write me, you're putting our friendship in further jeopardy. This would mean so much to me and will be such a HUGE step in the right direction. I feel I've done all I can. I'd always go out of my way to be your friend. Please do the same for me. It seemed you never had time for me. With that, I wish you the best of luck at school, and would love to hear about it!

Jason

P.S. Please, please get in touch with me somehow. I've been through so much because of this for most of the year. Don't let me suffer until I can talk to you again.

So with that, I waited for the next eight days until school started. On New Year's Eve I saw her at a gas station and she waved and said hi to me as if I had never wrote the letter. God, it pissed me off. She's like a damn cheerleader with a smile always pasted on her face. She NEVER shows sadness.

The first day of school came around after winter break, and I anticipated the day because her stepsister was in my math class. As I crossed the threshold, her stepsister looked me right in the eyes and called me a jerk.

I snapped back with the careful words, "I'm a jerk? She's the one who never responded!" I wanted to say so much more, but there were too many people in that class I'd have to explain myself to. We resumed the battle months later in a different math class.

As it turns out, T.E.N.T. was at our school that day visiting people. She dropped by our drama class, sat down for a while and in my journal in all caps and 20 point type, I wrote:

"DAMN BITCH! SHE'S SITTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM! SHE STILL DOESN'T CARE. SCREW EVERYTHING HER STEPSISTER SAYS. SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN A BITCH. IT'S JUST I NEVER REALIZED IT! I'M SO SICK OF RUNNING BACK AND FORTH. BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH!"

When I look back at it, the period from about December 18th to January 8th was one of my worst three week periods ever. The T.E.N.T. (it was on the fourth that I coined this nickname) drama, Hailey�s rape, Alysha�s admission to the hospital after a suicide attempt from hearing voices and finally having former crush C-Lee calling me a nerd and stereotyping me among other things as part of her new 2000 transformation which included getting wasted at a church dance and making out with a stranger for a good 20 minutes at the stroke of midnight while kicking our friendship to the side and flirting with my nemesis in journalism class who also happened to sit behind me. It was here that we nearly stopped talking period.

Man, looking back at it, I don�t know how I made it through January 4, 2000 without ramming my head into a wall.

Jason

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