January 07, 2002 // 7:45 p.m. // "You gets no tickets" -SmithTix

Note: I found Kuilineti's diary alive and well, only it's Kuinileti, not Kuilineti. She erased Utah from her description (I don't blame her) so I was not able to find her. Another note: Is it just me, or do Monday Night Football announcers Dan Fouts and Dennis Miller look exactly the same? I smell a SNL sketch... Now, onto your feature presentation... Despite poor planning and the fact I have school today, I waited in line at the Smith's store up in Ogden (which just happens to be across the street from school) for four free tickets to one of the following bands: Dave Matthews Band, Foo Fighters, Barenaked Ladies, Macy Gray and another to be named later. The artists are five of sixteen coming to Utah during the Olympics to play after the medals are awarded to the athletes.

Because these tickets are free, and these are big name acts commanding anywhere from $30-$90 a ticket, you'd expect things to be crazy.

Crazy doesn't begin to describe it.

Let me climb atop my soapbox now to get it out of my system.

Okay. First of all, I've never been a fan of the growing trend of wristbands or lotteries to decide who gets concert tickets. What ever happened to "first come first serve?" They say having a lottery or passing out wristbands gives everyone an equal shot at getting tickets, but I say that if for some reason you aren't able to show up, then too bad. It isn't fair for someone who has been waiting for ten hours to walk away empty handed (or empty-wristed) so that someone who strolls along at ten o'clock can walk away with their tickets.

All of our major venues are using what I like to call the "lethal lottery" or the "shackles of doom", nowadays.

Here's how I understood the ticket distribution would work.

1) People would begin to wait in line at a god-awful hour.

2) The first 100 people in line at each of the 35 SmithTix locations would receive wristbands.

3) The 100 people would come back the next day and redeem their wristband for tickets.

Here's what really happened.

1) People were not allowed to loiter (or as one kid said, "loot") inside the store or wait in line outside of the store until 9:00, or an hour before wristbands were to be given out. They would have to wait in their cars until 9, which would cause a mad dash to the front of the line at that time.

2) Everyone in line (200+) received a number written in pencil on a rectangle piece of paper. That was their number in the line.

3) Numbers matching all of their numbers were also placed in a [blank], and a number was drawn from [blank]. Everyone with that number and the next 100 numbers would receive a wristband. If number 37 is drawn (which it was) then numbers 37-136 would receive wristbands, meaning if you arrived early you were out of luck.

4) Those 100 people with the lucky numbers receive wristbands. They are given instructions not to get their paper (they never spring for plastic) wristbands wet or to tamper with them, and to return in three days to wait in a line with the 100 others with a wristband. In a phrase I'm growing sick of hearing, "having a wristband does not guarantee you a ticket."

5) Out of those 100 people, another number will be drawn and that number will dictate where they start handing out tickets for the next 25 numbers. If 14 is drawn, numbers 14 to 39 will receive tickets. Since my wristband number is 31 and if they stick with giving away 100 tickets to 25 consecutive numbers, my only chance is if the number drawn is between 6 and 31. I don't like relying on such a low number. If I had wristband number 70 and could rely on numbers 45 through 70, I'd feel a little better, even with the same odds.

The process is repeated two more times for the other eleven concerts.

Another thing I dislike is if I do win my four tickets, I won't be able to go to four different concerts. Apparently, you have to tell them what concert you want to see and they'll give you four of the same ticket.

So if I want to see Dave Matthews Band, Foo Fighters and Barenaked Ladies (all great bands) I'd have to work some kind of ticket for ticket swap with people with those tickets.

Someone should seriously organize that. I'm sure there are others who want to see most if not all of the bands.

Things got so out of control at the Ogden location, the cops were called. The officer shrugged his shoulders a few times expressing that we were doing nothing wrong and that there was nothing he could do.

It was a mess. I guess they've changed their policy to where everyone who shows up will get a wristband, but only a select few will receive tickets via the Lethal Lottery.

The NBA does a similar lottery to ensure the worst teams get the best players, and it's no more fair than this is.

I may not bother to miss school on Wednesday for this. I certainly won't miss school on Friday for this.

The final thing, we all know how corrupt the Olympics can be. Sponsors receive large bunches of tickets simply by being sponsors, taking away from the tickets promised to grade school students years ago.

The Olympic Medals Plaza (where these concerts take place) is another problem altogether. Follow me down yet another journey, and as Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes said on TLC's Behind The Music, "get ready to do your math."

There are 16 concerts. Each concert has a 20,000 person capacity. This equals 320,000 people. What SmithTix plans on doing is distributing 100 tickets (4 tickets each to 25 people) at each of 35 locations. 35 multiplied by 100 is 3500 tickets given away.

They're doing this on Wednesday and Friday. By distributing 3500 tickets on each of the three days, you reach a total of 10,500 free tickets being distributed.

Only 10,500 people are given tickets out of the 320,000 capacity. Either they'll be giving a lot of tickets away at a later date, or the corporate sponsors are getting a lot of tickets.

Wish me luck this week,

Jason

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