March 03, 2002 // 11:01 p.m. // The road back
Every song that I write is always about the same person and the same situation and always takes on the style of the artist I'm listening to the time. Today I was listening to Fountains Of Wayne and the song turned out similar lyrically to their song, "You're Just Never Satisfied." There's an interview from early 2001 on Larry King Live with Diane Sawyer. What she's saying about her husband is what I want to not only feel, but put into my poems and songs one day. I think some of what I'm feeling comes from seeing my sister in her relationship, some of my friends getting married at such a young age and the local pressure that you're supposed to be married by the time you complete college. In order for that to happen, I'd have to find someone tomorrow, date them for two-three years, then marry them. Once you've been in love once-or at least have convinced yourself you've been in love-and things have gone wrong, it can make it not only hard to trust, but hard to live. It's like a hard to penetrate but eventually visible wall that pops up around you that doesn't just say "Stop!!" but also, "Stay away until I'm ready." I'm almost ready. Right now, I just want to be held and told that everything is going to work out better than it did last time. I need to get back to the point where I can trust freely. Starting over on the road back one small step at a time. Jason Last time on Apexsensatin : Now on Apex : Apex Archives : Next time on ApexsensatinI'm trying to write a a song.