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January 31, 2003 // 6:51 a.m. // In a mood
"You are so selfish, you couldn't help it? Did you think I'd just forget you?" - Teen Heroes, "1001" It's 6:43 a.m. I maybe have five minutes. Right now, I'm resisting the urge to be extremely petty, I'm not happy, downright mad and feel used, in the mood to throw on some distracting music, to take photos, to buy the camera I'll seemingly never get but really want, to buy shoes, to distract myself, to tell someone what I really need to tell them, to take out all frustration on them just because I feel like being petty. I feel like continuing traveling about the 58 degree weather today in my least favorite Weezer shirt and a pair of green Nike shorts from 10th grade rather than something a little bit...better. I feel like eating, spending a little bit of money, and throwing my favorite 13 pound blue bowling ball, dents and all, down the lane in an attempt to not just destroy the pins, but to turn them into dust. I feel like getting together with old friends. For doing things like I used to. For birthday parties, movies, crush discussions and the fun of falling out of love. But mostly, I want to be petty. And if I don't supress that thought, it will all go to hell.