November's/December's theme:"We diverge and I collapse into my bed/And you are shoved awkwardly into my head" A Separate Lid Behind Closed Eyes

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Jason recommends the album, American Weekend by Waxahatchee

Extra doses and double shots - December 13, 2021
Half a life ago - December 12, 2021
Buggy - November 27, 2021
When We Two Parted - November 25, 2021
Catfish - November 22, 2021

January 25, 2003 // 8:36 p.m. // It starts with Britt and ends with evil girls

I just got a call from Britt. It's the first time we've talked in months. Part of that is because I got a new cell phone and forgot to give her the number until about three weeks ago. The other part is...well, there really is no other part.

I'm going over to her house at about 10:00 (why so late? Don't ask me) to play board games.

I just started thinking about my friendship with Britt, and realized that it's far better than it ever has been in a way. I've known her for eight years now, and it took nearly that long for her to see my side of the story on the whole T.E.N.T. thing. I must say that Britt hearing that T.E.N.T. engaged in one or more makeout sessions with the love of her life's brother two weeks after he left on his mission did a little to change her opinion of her former good friend.

Wait. I never told you that story? I must've pulled that entry just after it made it to print.

There really aren't details, and honestly I don't care about them. She fell for a guy, or at least convinced her best friend Martha that she had fallen for him, and two weeks after he left on his two year church mission, she made out with his brother. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she used him to get to his brother. She's manipulative like that.

But that's really all in the past. I'm sure you won't believe me, but after writing this, all thoughts of her in any way just seemed to fade away. I don't want to have a face to face conversation with her to resolve the past. I don't want to give her another silly letter a dozen drafts in the making. I no longer feel like I'd be angry or hurt or upset or anything other than considerate and "normal" if I found myself in her company.

So basically this means no trip to Provo. No email or letter going in the mail. No meetings with her friends or her sisters to arrange for me to "sort things out" with her. It's all in the past, and while I've realized that for months communicating with her in some fashion would get me nowhere, I'm finally ready to take that thought in and live by it.

Now if only I could get over the predisposition that most girls are evil, and just like guys have motivations that drive them to do things. *That* would be a real breakthrough.

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