May's theme:If you want to/I can save you" I can take you away from here A Separate Lid Behind Closed Eyes

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Jason recommends the album, The Spirit Room by Michelle Branch

Happy 22nd. Nostalgia ensues. - April 04, 2023
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April 04, 2023 // 7:30 p.m. // Happy 22nd. Nostalgia ensues.

Twenty two years ago, at the suggestion of a good friend from high school, I sat down to compose my first entry, one about (what else) a crush on someone from one of my classes.

It became a theme. A kind of ridiculous one in fact, that carried over from when I was in middle school. So many entries with so many nicknames from so many people I both couldn't pick out of a lineup and those I held dear. I feel I spent so many years in a loop, writing about the same thing again and again and somehow expecting a different result.

I'm terribly nostalgic. Eternally nostalgic, and a few minutes before I sat down to compose this, I found myself getting lost in a few entries. My first dance, some of the details being lost like the aftermath, some that I won't ever forget like what I wore. Then the final high school dance, one that I didn't attend, after attending all of the other ones.

I'm realizing when reading this entry here I haven't really changed, and this was twenty years ago. There's probably something deeper that I should seek out assistance for if I want to make progress on, but right now, I'm not ready. With everything that happened with the crush last year still keeping me a mess, I don't have much desire to move forward, and am feeling okay just being 'meh' at the moment.

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