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March 04, 2004 // 9:29 p.m. // I see creative people
At a concert on the 24th, I spotted a girl that looked like a girl from my high school creative writing and drama classes. She was standing outside of the door smoking a cigarette (is everyone smoking nowadays?) and I was standing in the front row. Needless to say, I wasn't going to walk over to her for that reason. I forgot about it for a while, and then after the show, I saw her again talking to the band and hanging out with a group of guys. After hearing her voice and seeing her from four feet away, I was convinced it was her. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't get up the courage to. Now of course, this isn't unusual for me. And neither was my reasoning. I kept hoping she'd recognize me and approach me, but she never did. Before I knew it, she flew out the door (quite literally. A guy carried her on his right shoulder ice skater style) and my chance to talk to her was over. The girl whom I'll call Jessica, was probably on a short list of five to ten people I rarely spoke with in high school and sort of admired from afar. Not in a crushy way, mind you but I was just drawn to these people for some reason. I really wanted to ask her what she had been up to in the last 3 1/2 years, but missed my chance. The funny thing is, had I gone to that concert with someone, like I have six of the last eight concerts I've gone to this year, I would have had no problem approaching her. Maybe it has to do with her having a group there and me being solo. Actually, that's not it at all. I'm just less shy when I'm with someone. I'm vowing to myself that if I run into her or any of the other people on that short list again, I'll talk to them. I know where one of the people on the short list works, but how can I be expected to walk into a Victoria Secret if I don't even feel comfortable walking by one? I have a friend that volunteered to go in there with me since she does a lot of shopping there (she says they have great lotion) but seeing as how I used to have a crush on her awhile ago and had a crush on the Vicki Secret worker in high school, the last place I need to be is a store in which I'm surrounded by lingerie with two former crushes.