November's/December's theme:"We diverge and I collapse into my bed/And you are shoved awkwardly into my head" A Separate Lid Behind Closed Eyes

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Jason recommends the album, American Weekend by Waxahatchee

Extra doses and double shots - December 13, 2021
Half a life ago - December 12, 2021
Buggy - November 27, 2021
When We Two Parted - November 25, 2021
Catfish - November 22, 2021

September 14, 2004 // 6:21 p.m. // When I grow up

I lost this entry for some reason when I closed out a different diaryland window.

I hung out with these girls on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon, where they played two 45 minute sets. I had dinner with them on Thursday night, at a quaint little restaurant with Rhian, Stewie and a few of their friends. That's where the dinner photos from a few entries ago came from.

Anyway, we saw them again on Saturday, in a real club setting. Normally, I can't stand going to smoky clubs where everyone chooses to sit, chat and drink instead of listening to the music. I cannot stand being around smoke, and apparently, neither can Rhian. She showed up with her face covered, not in a Michael Jackson "I'm afraid of SARS or the common dustbunny" way, but in a old west bankrobbery kind of way. I don't care if she looked like she was about to hold up the place, that was a pretty good idea.

Since we arrived early, Stewie and I passed the time talking about the creative writing class we had in high school. The two of us shared who we had run into and we realized that between the two of us, there were only about six people that neither of us had seen since graduation. Four of us were there that night. Stewie, Rhian, myself, and another kid who sat near me in class and was a member of our little group of four.

One of the people he mentioned: C-Lee, which sparked me to open my wallet to show him a picture of us at a high school dance.

He then told me his C-Lee story. Apparently, he ran into her this summer at a jazz festival, and she was engaged and was seven months pregnant.


He used words similar to 'loser' and 'pathetic' when he described the situation she was in. I couldn't help but feel a little bad after the initial shock.

You see, C-Lee and I went on a date in high school. The date was the most disasterous and is the absolute worst date I've ever been on.

The date was a week before winter break, and when we returned to school in 2000, she was a different person. She was a jerk. I don't think I've ever used the word 'jerk' to describe a girl, but it applies. She was mean, condescending, and a new girl with a new haircut. That's the worst part about asking out a girl who sits next to you in class at the beginning of the semester. It means you have to sit together for the next three months.

Yeah, she was a jerk, but I still don't wish any bad for her.

Speaking of people I *do* wish bad for...

After the concert ended, I really lost it. Really. The thing that can throw me into anger faster than anything is being told what to do by a club owner, bouncer, ticket taker, coffee shop barista or usher.

That happened on Saturday night. After nearly everyone had cleared out, the owner (or at least the door person) said, "everyone who's not with the band needs to get out." As I was hugging the ladies and saying goodbye, the guy said, "you have one minute to clear out of here."

That's when I lost it. You'd have thought I had the $8 Long Island iced tea instead of him what with the way I was talking. I told Stewie, "I want to punch him and then throw him through a window on the top of the empire state bulding, and then run him over about a hundred thousand times."

I don't think he knew what to say or how to react, as I said it louder than most would have. Stunned, all he could say was, "I don't get *that* angry."

One of the last times I got like that was when a woman confiscated my camera. All I kept thinking about for the next two hours that I was enjoying the concert was how I wished I was ridiculously rich, just so I could buy that club so that I could close it down the next day to put all of the people that had treated me rudely that night out of work.

We left, and the club owner/whoever he was walked behind us as we headed toward the exit. I missed this and only caught him glancing at us as he, from inside, reached around the outside of the door and locked it behind us. This made Stewie really mad, and by this time, I was over my impulsive rage.

My sister moved almost a month ago, and that still didn't make me even close to as sad as I felt when I said goodbye to the members of the band. "I'm still in the same room as them and I miss them already" I said to Stewie as we headed toward the door.

The best thing about the goodbye was the warm hug from one of the band members. It was one of those real hugs. One of those where you feel secure because of how tight it is. She's a good hugger. Every hug I got from her was good. It probably doesn't hurt that she's close to my height. I always feel a bit weird when I hug people a lot shorter than I am, because I always have to bend over quite a bit to hug them. I can't wait until the next one.

Ok. I think I got all of this entry in before I lost it. And it took about as long, so I think I got it all in.

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