November's/December's theme:"We diverge and I collapse into my bed/And you are shoved awkwardly into my head" A Separate Lid Behind Closed Eyes

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Jason recommends the album, American Weekend by Waxahatchee

Extra doses and double shots - December 13, 2021
Half a life ago - December 12, 2021
Buggy - November 27, 2021
When We Two Parted - November 25, 2021
Catfish - November 22, 2021

May 10, 2005 // 10:24 p.m. // looking back


I'm watching the Spurs/Sonics game right now, and along with the episode of King Of The Hill that aired this afternoon (the one where they take creative liberties when they rewrite Texas history in the form of the Alamo) it's all reminding me of someone that I know that has a birthday today.

We used to be good friends. I used to call her all the time. But then a lot happened between us, and I haven't heard from her since September. I still go either way as to whether or not I want to talk to her or not, and though it's been seven months since we've communicated via email, phone or online diaries, I still feel the urge to drop the painting, the poster and the other odds and ends in the mail.

I think my point is that I miss certain people...certain things that used to be common, but are now incredibly rare.

Two of my good friends have moved, and today I received the new phone number from one of them. Another friend from high school moved to Chicago in December, and the two of us have shared one phone call and a few emails. As things inevitably do, the calls and emails become less frequent, and just five months later, we rarely speak.

I'd like to stay in better touch with people who move. I'm not much of a phone person, which totally leaves it all in their hands. That's never good, because they generally forget to keep in touch, and I always feel to weird to call them. The more time that goes by, the harder it is for me to call them.

Britt is another person who I've known for ten years, but have found that I don't speak to. The last time we hung out was in October of 2003, which I remember well. I don't recall what we did, but I remember sitting in her car with her boyfriend and her other friend talking about work, a wedding and a few other things. Britt called me out of the blue in December and gave me a brief update on her life. I know I've said this to everybody I know for the last five months, but I really should call her. She's getting married next month, and I think it's sad that we suddenly went from hanging out on a nearly weekly basis (and sometimes three or four days in a row) to not even talking to one another on the phone.

I only wish we had been better friends. I grew annoyed by the same questions that she always asked me, and even when we hung out in a big group, we never really made more than small talk. But I'd still like to know what she has been up to since I last saw her over a year and a half ago.

There's also a girl I know, who I hung out with in Park City during Sundance. We had a lot of fun, and we've told each other that we should hang out. It's one of those things where we'll say it, but it'll never happen. I did finally get to talk to her a week ago at this time, but we didn't speak long, as she spent a lot of the night talking with a different group of people.

I feel like this is an official ramble.

I suppose I can close by saying I've been extremely stressed by things both within and out of my control, which explains a lot of things, including the lack of entries. I'd also like to be daring and throw out a happy birthday wish to the girl who has a birthday today. And though I doubt she still reads this, and I'm far too much of a chicken to call, email or send a card after this extremely long period of not talking to her, I'd like to have it in print that there are still times I miss our inappropriate jokes, and discussing secrets that only the two of us know.

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