For many summers (all of them but one, but one year we went twice, so that makes up for it) when I was in junior high and high school, I went river rafting as part of a end of the year reward trip for working at the Utah Museum of Natural History. There were a number of trips, but nothing was like the river trips, especially the first one, which brings back memories of singing Shania Twain songs before Shania was a star. (So I was a little bit country.)

The first few days had the calmest water with no rapids and really, no excitement whatsoever. The water was so calm, that if we were making good time, the river guides would let any of us that wanted to row row row the raft gently down the stream do so.

It led to the kids (remember, we were anywhere from 13-18 depending on the year we went) spinning in circles, (especially when they got tired) having to adjust to the mental and physical strength of steering and to concentrate on which oar turned the raft a certain direction. Sometimes, progress was made. Most most of the time however, it was just a big mess that put us further back, got us nowhere and made it harder to make up for lost time.

I bring this up because it reminds me of friendships. Past friendships. Current friendships. Great friendships. Rocky friendships. Especially the rocky ones.

When things are calm, they aren't always the most exciting, but are generally the most stable. At the same time, when one (or both) gets tired or decides to let things drift, it can take a lot of work to get things back on track. Sometimes, it can't be done. Sometimes, if you don't work toward your goal, you end up drifting out of control, and the more you drift out of control, the harder it is to get things back to normal and reach your destination. Sometimes though, if you really work at it, concentrate and focus on it, you find the strength and you figure out how to make it work.

It's time for me do what I haven't been able to do this summer with my room and apply it to my friendships.

I need to put all of my broken friendships into a repair or a discard pile and realize which ones I need to concentrate on and fix, and which ones I need to let drift, spin in circles and head in the direction that they need to. Because really, I'm tired of letting them all drift when there are a few I can steer in the right direction.

And really, I'm just as tired of friendships that are floating along calmly, but are out of control, because they aren't drifting in any real direction.

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