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Jason recommends the album, Wreck Of The Day by Anna Nalick

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July 09, 2002 // 7:47 a.m. // Under pressure?

I should have never told anyone that I called Polo, or even that I talked to her. It happened so long ago, that even I had thought that I told the group. But now the pressure is on to call and actually talk to her.

As always, they want me to call someone I like even more than I do. And the "pressure"? Anyone who knows me does or should know this: When I'm pressured into doing something, it makes me refuse even more. There's nothing I dislike more than doing something that someone else wants me to do. And now I'm getting all of this pressure relating to calling Polo. Had I kept this to myself and decided to call whenever I felt like it, I wouldn't have this problem. But now, all I want to do is not call, because I'm being pressured to. They should know better than anyone that pressuring me has never worked in the past and only gets all of us frustrated.

Calling her now is different than when I called last month. I can't use the whole, "I didn't get to talk to you when I saw you at school last week as much as I wanted to" line. They're expecting us to be a couple, when all I'm hoping for (at least for now) is a good friendship. We click well with each other. There is a comfort level there that I haven't had with past crushes. So I'll call, maybe we'll hang out, and I'll see how it goes from there. One step at a time. No need to look forward to things that may never occur. Afterall, that's how I got into trouble the last time.

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