One of the first compilation CD's I ever burned was a list of songs dedicated to her, though upon second listen, half of the songs don't actually remind me of her. Sure, we have Fatboy Slim, Garbage, Tal Bachman and Everclear (all the hits of 1999. How could they not be reminders?) with specific reasons, but Mariah Carey? I think I just related to the lyrics on that one.

I pulled that CD out and let it play in my car on Thursday, the same day I drove to semi-foreign territory to pick up patchouli oil and the same day I posted a long awaited entry on her that was two weeks in the making and which failed miserably. It was up for all of four minutes, and accomplished nothing for me. Perhaps I should tweek it and post it again. Imagine that. Playing that CD, a CD dedicated to her, while driving halfway across the valley to pick up patchouli oil. You'd think I'd have been smarter than that. (Most of you won't understand how big this is, and if it weren't a long and complicated story, I'd explain it.)

I guess to make a potentially long entry shorter, I found myself listening to Travis on Friday. And I realized that the I related the lyrics to "Writing To Reach You" to myself and her. It applied then. It applied at Christmas and it applies now.

Every day I wake up and it's Sunday
Whatever's in my head won't go away
The radio is playing all the usual
And what's a wonderwall anyway

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you

It's good to know that you are home for Christmas
It's good to know that you are doing well
It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting
It's good to know I'm feeling not so well

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you
Do you know it's true
And that won't do

Maybe then tomorrow will be Monday
And whatever's in my head should go away
Still the radio keeps playing all the usual
And what's a wonderwall anyway

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you
Do you know it's true
And that won't do
You know it's you
I'm talking to

And why do I bring her up yet again? It's because I took the initiative. I didn't wait until the next time I talked to Britt or Martha or anyone in that crew to find out how to contact her because I figure I'd either get the runaround or incomplete answers. I went to someone else, more reliable than even they are and obtained all the info I need on how to contact her. Now, it's just a matter of writing a letter in case plan A fails. This could be good. This could actually work...

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