My sister, for whatever reason (according to her it's to send it to a friend) picked up a book called, The Teenage Guy's Survival Guide, which in addition to talking about innocent subjects such as crushes, first dates and whether to kiss, also tackles drugs, alcohol and sex.

So my sister has gone crazy with various colors of highlighter and marker, leaving more color than white page and making it impossible to read some passages. I only wish I had the scanner working, or the patience to transcribe a passage or two.

This book is hilarious. So funny, in fact, that I filmed her reading passages from it.

And just like what I would do, she has all sorts of sarcastic comments following various lines in the book. They're seriously funny. More funny than I pegged her capable of being. I wish I could spend more time flipping through and transcribing them. You should know her comments are italicized and in white.

About getting intimate:

"Well, there is only one really right reason. Because you love someone and she loves you." Or you're just really horny!

Where to dump someone:

"A good place is her house, especially if you know she's going to be there alone." Her house alone, huh? So she has no witnesses for when she KILLS you?

What not to say:

"This hurts me more than it hurts you." We all know that's a lie.

When it's over:

"The day the romance dies is the day the clock is counting down to the big split between the two of you." AKA...you're gonna be dumped

And I'm sure I'm not even picking out her best material. But this book...quite good for a laugh. It goes from crushes to sex and genitals and sex in only 50 pages. I highly recommend you pick up a copy, for the endless laughs alone.

This book could so lead to a series of entries. I can't get enough of it.

In other news...

• We have a huge pile of trash by our curb. This means we have no room for all three cars, which is just as well, as my sister's isn't running.

• My sister is on the phone, presumably to the boy she's sending the book to. It's why I had to take her to 7-11 to buy an overpriced calling card.

• I watched Not Another Teen Movie today. I hoped for more of a Pretty In Pink storyline, but alas, was given She's All That. But the Molly Ringwald cameo? Classic.

• I called Polo twice on Friday night. Once, I got the answering machine. An hour later, I decided to leave a message, but got a live person. But not her. She was on her way home however, and I asked the person who answered to tell her that I called. I even left my last name this time. But I never got a call back. My guess is she didn't get the message.

• I'm debating as to what was my worse dating moment: 1) Being shorter than JM on the date that she wore heels. 2) Taking JM to Village Inn and having her run into an ex-boyfriend, and proceeding to leave me for almost ten minutes as she ran to the other end of the restaurant to talk to him. 3) Not saying one word to C-Lee, as we sat in the back seat of her friend's SUV, which was actually the best part of the date. 4) The less than warm response I got from Kristie's mom. She didn't even look at me. Finally, 5) Dancing with a group of friends for the majority of the dance while T.E.N.T. decided to hang against the wall. She had no desire to dance. Everything in our friendship is either before or after the cast party.

For the record, I'd say it was number four. It was just a weird feeling. Half of the parents loved me, half could care less about me. It's probably because those I was comfortable with were letting their daughters go on their first formal dates. And one family was drunk, so that'll loosen you up.

I could continue this entry forever. I have no signs of stopping. But for the sake of having the only working computer with an internet connection in the house, I retire, and allow others their turn.

I share. See how unselfish I'm being?

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