Attempt number seven at making sense of things: And I've decided not to. Some things just need to be what they are.

I got in my car and threw on the T.E.N.T. mix burned when I was 17 and realized how many of the songs are still reminders of her.

I headed up to the health food store to pick up some of the items linked, and all they had were two of the items. "Patchouli isn't as big as it was a few years ago" she told me. I couldn't get the lotion or the soap, but the website has it. So instead, I bought incense and bottles of lotion and soap with neroli orange and chocolate mint. It smells *amazing.* Like seriously, I love that smell. And patchouli, as hard as it was to come by, really does smell like dirt. I thought people were crazy when they said it. The incense smells even more like dirt than the pure product. Maybe it's better that I didn't find it in a lotion or a soap and found the neroli orange.

I came home smelling like every herb and organic material imaginable, and it almost made me nausious.

I'm starving. And tired. Hope to be in bed sooner than normal tonight.

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