April 09, 2002 // 4:22 p.m. // I'll finally believe you
I discussed some of this in a chat last night. Why we have issues with things like this. And this is what I came up with. I can't take a compliment the way I should. I'm always flattered whenever someone goes out of their way to say something nice to me. I'll always smile and say thank you. It doesn't matter what the compliment is about. The common thread will always be that I don't believe it myself. The only exception to this is when people tell me I'm smart. I've heard this from the time I was three. I'm not sick of it, nor will I ever be. It's one of my favorite compliments (other than "I like talking to you"). But when people tell me other things such as they like my writing or my acting, it's always tough for me to accept. All I can think to myself is they're only saying this because they're supposed to. They're walking out of the theater or poetry reading and they feel they need to say something to me. I'm slowly beginning to change that view. In order for one to believe they are these things, they must first believe them themselves. While I have no clue what people see in my hair (or when I was younger my eyelashes) I know they must see something they like otherwise they wouldn't compliment me. Maybe this is step one to "recovery?" Jason P.S. (Possibly) In future issues. Crushes and what they mean to me. Last time on Apexsensatin : Now on Apex : Apex Archives : Next time on ApexsensatinIt seems to be all the rage here at diaryland to discuss love and issues with the way we look. Here is my obligatory entry on the subject.