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August 21, 2001 // 10:48 p.m. // And it isn't ironic. Don't you think?
So again I didn't get to listen to the music I wanted to. I don't ask for much. Just a How Come, How Long here, a Hand In My Pocket there. Instead I get every hit from Babyface's hits once (some twice, one three times) a few songs from Alicia Keys and Jill Scott, (who I don't mind, but...) and Aaliyah. After eating and driving through the heavily soaked streets of Salt Lake after our second big rainstorm in two days (this one you couldn't enjoy) we headed for school supplies where it took G 30-40 minutes to buy a notebook, paper, folders and pens. And you've been buying school supplies for how long, G? A trip to the University of Utah, where we search for G's classes as well as test our vision. Apparently he needs glasses. He has 20/60 vision. I was the only one who could read the numbers off of a permit sign 150 feet or so away. I have excellent sight. I mean excellent. I could read the license plate off of a motorcycle at thirty paces :) Following a short trip to the Union building, we headed to Circuit City, where it took far too long for G to choose between two CD's I deemed unfit. They were Aaliyah's new album, and Usher's. I could name at least four or five CD's I saw in the same section that were better. Following verbal jabs at each other's favorite artists at the moment. B's being J-Lo and Sisqo, mine being Blu Cantrell, and G's being Jill Scott. All in good fun, except for the jabs at Weezer. I'm tellin' ya, if ya wanna piss me off, diss my favorite artists, no matter how much you like/dislike them. You can respectfully disagree, but other than that... G puts in Alanis' Jagged Little Pill, finally bowing down to my unspoken demands. Though he began with You Oughta Know, into Perfect, he then played a song which the video is one of my all-time favorites even if the song makes me cringe. In fact, the video was on last week on VH-1 in its entirety. Ironic. So as I'm beginning to explain how many of the songs lines are more unfortunate than ironic, a quote of Erin's (diary at thediastema. See July 6th entry) where she coins another phrase. "A Raking Leaves Moment occurs when somebody, someone you adore and boundlessly respect, does something you cannot possibly justify." I can't justify Alanis Morisette, a canadian who I respect, misusing the word ironic in such an obsene way. The song Ironic is a Raking Leaves Moment on Jagged Little Pill. You could even call a misdefinition or a stupid comment an "Alanis moment" now. So back to the discussion. Together G and I analyzed the song, citing irony and non-irony. "An old man turned ninety-eight He won the lottery and died the next day." Not ironic. "It's a black fly in your Chardonnay." Not ironic. "It's a death row pardon two minutes too late." Bad luck. Maybe it'd be ironic if his crime involved being late. "It's like rain on your wedding day" It's more of an omen than irony. "It's a free ride when you've already paid." Do you even have to ask? "It's the good advice that you just didn't take." Now you're getting silly, Alanis. You've abused your irony priviliges. "A traffic jam when you're already late." G made a good point. The point wasn't good enough. This could be construed as irony if the situation were slightly different. It's not ironic as it is. "A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break." Another good point by G. If she had used, "A no-smoking sign on your lunch break," she would have lost all irony points. If you worked at Virginia Slims and saw a no smoking sign, it'd be ironic. "It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife." Nope. If you worked at a place where they manufactued knives and all you could find was a spoon, it'd be ironic. "It's meeting the man of my dreams And then meeting his beautiful wife." Nope. If any of you can think of ironic situations to replace these lines, otr to make her lines more ironic, email me. My mind is drawing a blank right now. Perhaps the most ironic thing is nothing in the song is ironic. No random Garbage lyric. Three entries in a day are a killer. Jason