Sometimes the stupidest things you do are the things you don't do.

In this case, I take you back to last night's musical (where I finally understood the plot, by the way) where there were many things to regret from not saying more than hello to old acting buddies and teachers to not bringing money for refreshments.

In this case, I'm referring to a former crush who may have had a crush on me.

The two of us sat diagonally from each other, but we didn't begin to talk to each other until just over a month remained of the school year. Between the bitchy teacher, the bitchy former friend, the bitchy drama actress, the sometimes bitchy step-sister of T.E.N.T. and the bitchy girl I asked to prom who lied about why she couldn't go, it seemed only logical that we'd begin talking sooner or later.

It's the signs I didn't pick up on that I literally kick myself over. (Jason stops typing to kick himself) We almost went to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Both of us were hinting to Mandie (the sometimes bitchy step-sister) that we wanted to go, and at least on my side there was hinting that I wanted to go with her. We began to talk even more at an end of the year party.

With only a few days left of school, the class became aware that I had a CD burner. Michelle was one of three (Mandie and bitchy drama actress were the other two) people that I made CD's for. Whereas Mandie and bitchy actress wanted the cool new pop songs,Michelle had songs on her list ranging from Air Supply to Lionel Richie to Rammstein to classical music concertos. In fact, I liked it so much, I burned a copy of it myself.

We graduated the next day, and her brother was also a member of my graduating class. She walked up to me after the ceremony, congratulated me, then asked if she could take a picture with me. I agreed, and didn't give it a second thought.

The next day on yearbook day, we signed each other's yearbooks. About 15 minutes later, she found me again and handed me a cardboard card with musical note stickers stuck to it.

Not long after she handed me this note/card, I found her and asked her brother to take a picture of us with my cheap disposable camera.

I saw her on two occasions last year, once during the school year, and once on the last day of school. Yesterday she was sitting directly behind me about eight rows back. I should have just walked up and struck up a conversation with her. It wouldn't have been hard. I still have a crush on her and there's a chance she may have had a crush on me.

So yes, I'm pining away again.

Random Bonaduces lyric:

"If I take too long to deal with what's been said,

It's just that I have taken it to conclusions in my head.

When every kid in class has found the guts to ask

What they can do to help you through

I guess I must look pretty cold:

Your best friend standing silent choked by fear.

And if we're back outside and I'm overcome with stress

We're ten feet from a hive, and you're barefoot, in a sleeveless dress."

Bee-Sting Necklace

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