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October 31, 2001 // 2:18 p.m. // That time of the month
I've come to the conclusion that the only purpose CNN's show "America Speaks Out" (weekdays at atout 3:30 p.m. ET) serves is to scare people. The only people on the show say "oh, my kids aren't going out tonight because some unknown man told us that there's a chance of a terrorist strike." This is the second time we've heard this! Didn't we hear that we should watch out about two weeks ago? And what are people afraid of? An attack on their city? The country? Are they worried that the creepy neighbor from down the street is going to give your kids some kind of substance in an envelope that turns out to be powdered donuts? (Mmmm. Powdered donuts...) I don't even see the concern, and I live in a "top of the list security concern" city. I don't plan to be out of town during the Olympics, but who wants to stay in a crowded city in cold weather when you can leave? I still believe what I believed in eighth grade when it was confirmed that the Olympics would be here. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. So I'm going to take a Halloween tally of how many people come to our door. And I'm going to tell my mom to buy candy that I enjoy in case we get very few trick-or-treaters. No more suckers or Tootsie Rolls!!! Err that damn show is really making me upset. I'm working on my first sketch/script since my play was rejected for Take 5 2000 in favor of Anna "bow down to me" Christiansen's "Cross~Fade." Yeah, my idea of a good time is watching two theater tekkies fall in love in a play that's trite and full of weak sound effects. You should have seen the review it got in various english classes. They should have had a sound effect of a cricket since it got *no* crowd response. But she did trust me with the part of Peter in "Painted Windows" in 1999 when she knew nothing of my talents (or lack thereof). So I'm slightly bitter. But because of the shocked reaction it brought about from G and B, I'm reluctant to tell you what the sketch is about. They're not shocked about anything, and besides, it wasn't even my idea, it was that of a local radio station. But for the curious, let's just say it involves B-list movie actors, the Emmy Awards, and one powder filled winner's envelope. Random Bonaduces lyric: "Do we read aloud from Syvvie Plath? Pin-the-tail on Diane Arbus photographs? Is this my fate? To watch you all degenerate? To scoop up your doodles of me For your posthumous auction at Christie�s? So when the sun settles to sleep And our seritonin is in retreat We could put the drunks to bed And confront our real fears instead. Or...well, then...maybe next year."