March 23, 2002 // 12:40 p.m. // The crush

I'm all about crushing on the long shot. There's a girl in my first sociology class that has, in a matter of days moved up past the other two girls in my classes to the top of my crush list.

Some things are new, some things are the same.

The Same:

• I still don't know her name.

  Since starting college, I've been less likely to converse with crushes, and thus am left scratching my head at the end of a semester.

• Brown hair.

  A trend that's continued since about the time I finished high school. For the most part, I'm more likely to be attracted to a brunette than a blonde.

• Has one outfit that reduces me to a puddle of mush.

  For her it's the black open toed shoes (with her toes always painted), a pair of jeans that seem to lace up along the side up to the knee and a purple cardigan, usually with a white shirt underneath. I'm terrible at describing clothes, especially those that are not my own. The more I notice these things, the more I realize the difference between girls and boys is that girls have outfits and boys have a shirt from one drawer and a pair of pants from another, and whether they go together or not makes no difference.

• My only exceptions to this rule are my club style shirts that I wear with the same pair of khaki pants every once in a while. Like yesterday. I call them my "make me look pretty" outfits.

• If she does converse, she'll speak to the woman on her right, who sits in front of me. I'm left looking at her, trying to get into the conversation anyway possible. She also always shoots me one glance as soon as she sees me looking over, then nothing for the rest of their conversation.

And now, the things about this crush that are different.

• She's smart.

  I guess I could define this better by saying the girls I usually crush on and like aren't stupid, but average or above average. The people that I think are "cool" or would be "fun to hang out with" are the ones that are usually the most intelligent. Maybe my choices come from wanting to be "the smart one" in the relationship, since it's been the first descriptive word used about me throughout my entire life. Not that it's a bad thing, of course.

• She's high maintenance but keeps it low key.

  Now, it's terrible for me (or anyone) to judge someone in such a way, but don't take any of what I say too seriously. I don't even know her. Maybe (probably) she's super down to earth and just spends a lot on clothes. Maybe the possibility of being spoiled would be a better word for what I bulleted above.

• She wears glasses.

  Normally, if I am attracted to girls with glasses, it's girls who wear those cute little small glasses used only sometimes for reading. Either that, or those retro 50's glasses that are becoming more and more mainstream now.

I'm sure she has classes after 12, which is why I never see her on the shuttle. I'd like to know what kind of car she drives, because lately for some reason, nothing has been better than girls driving older cars, or cars you wouldn't expect them to drive. It seems to say, I'm not trying to show off or I'm real.

Sheesh, I know I'm offending a whole mess of people here. Bring on the hate mail...

Jason

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