June 15, 2002 // 9:28 p.m. // Yeah, like I ever have a point
Under them? Green shorts. Nike. Silky. In case it gets too hot. They extend down to the middle of my knee. And a black shirt. That I just threw on hours ago to walk around the house. You see, I have a drawer of shirts I wear, and shirts I don't. The Dandy Warhols. From the November of 2000 concert. A hideous shirt. Two flags: On the left, the confederate. The right looks like a checkered flag. Totally hideous or boring as you can see, but I just needed something to wear around the house. But at least my hair looks good. And why did I tell you all of that? it's because I actually had great fun watching movies and cleaning my room most of the day, before having that sudden swing moment where I just began to feel less than confident about myself. I needed confidence for what I did about 20 minutes ago. So it barely explains the clothes, but still... I just had one of those moments where I knew what I had to do no matter how difficult it would be. I thought a lot. That only made it worse. I can't do something as simple as go to the gas station without thinking too much. But I followed up this call just about twenty minutes ago. And I got an answering machine. But hey, at least I called. And go ahead and think it's hilarious that a 20 year old is all nervous about calling a crush on the phone. I think it is. I'm not even asking her out. Just following up on a conversation we had a little over a week ago. The reason why calling is so difficult is because I never stop thinking. About what she may say, what I may say, what may happen at the end of the call. But I had a flow planned out this time. Let's hope that next time, she will be home. At least all of these calls where I don't reach her are making it easier for me to call. Last time on Apexsensatin : Now on Apex : Apex Archives : Next time on ApexsensatinHere I am. Black windbreaker pants that button up the side. Trimmed in silver and gray, depending on when you see me. Half of the buttons unbuttoned, due to rough treatment. Repairable, but I don't see myself doing it. One of my favorite pairs of pants. 