May 28, 2002 // 7:53 a.m. // ...to find a piece of you
I compose exclusively in composition notebooks. They're my journal of choice. All of my actual journals since my sophomore year have been composition notebooks. After a day of music and journaling, I headed out to the newly fixed Taurus (yeah!) and decided that since I finally had my car back, I'd take it on a drive through the foreign side of the city. That all changed just a block into my trip. My sister wanted McDonalds food. I told her I'd be going there sometime during the night. Obviously, that doesn't fly with her, so I have to make a special trip to McDonalds before I set out on my little drive. My car began smoking a block into the trip. By the time I was at the McDonalds only four blocks away, I was embarrassed to be in my car due to the amount of smoke, which was more like smelly steam. I brought her food back to her, and decided not to take the car on a drive. If I wanted to go on my reflective excursion, I'd have to take the LeMans. The LeMans has its original speakers, no CD player, no power features, a loud engine, doesn't look pretty, rides bumpy and has no working cigarette lighter, which means if I want to hook up the portable CD player, I have to use batteries rather than the car adapter. But I took it anyway, popped The Get Up Kids in the CD player and headed east with no specific plans on where I'd end up. I drove past Nicole's house and recalled the weekend before last that was filled with drunken flirting. I picked up some food, headed farther east, and suddenly it popped into my head what I needed to do. And I don't know why I did it either. All I know is it was May 27th, and I needed to drive to and past the places that involved these three crushes that I associate with that day. All I needed to do was reflect on those moments in a different way. Not as bitter, but with some kind of calmness. I didn't have enough left in me to be angry. So after driving past the alma matter, the houses, the park and churches, I came home and went to bed. I must've slept well. What other reason would there be for waking up at 5:45 a.m. and being the last of the four people in my family to wake up? Last time on Apexsensatin : Now on Apex : Apex Archives : Next time on ApexsensatinI spent very little time at the computer yesterday, and decided to spend the day writing in the paper journal. Something like 30 pages or so which is quite something, considering the minor distractions. I find it takes me about an hour to compose nine pages. At least it did last night while listening to the new Sheryl Crow album I picked up in addition to three others.