July 11, 2002 // 7:27 a.m. // A brief T.E.N.T. story re-telling
But I've decided not to for now. And why is that? Because everytime I tell the story, whether it be to Britt and the crew or to someone I'm online with, they don't understand. They can't quite seem to understand why these things that are admittedly quite minor to most, were so devistating to me. Ok. So I piqued your interest. I'm going to be extremely general for now. The cast party. Where the never-flirt girl sat on a good number of male laps. I went out of my way to give her a ride, and 20 feet in the door she told me that she "wanted to mingle" and left in the opposite direction in the hug mansion. For the next four hours, I basically sat in the same spot, only speaking when spoken to, until she began to flirt with the boy she had bonded with, but could never have. If something's ending is told in its beginning, I guess it was fitting that it was the night of the famed Robbie Kneivel death jump. Not to mention, it rained. Sadie Hawkins. The dance that had potential, but occurred two weeks after the above. We had already made plans to go, but after she sees you crying in your car after you left the party early, you can never truly get back to where you were. I should also note that she was "sick" in the days leading up to the dance, and didn't even come to school the day before or the day of the dance. This led to an emergency trip out south to buy gray "ARMY" shirts, so that we'd be different from the groups. I can remember "Praise You" on the radio. I can remember learning her favorite radio station. I can remember talking about sun spots somewhere around the city limits. And I can recall thinking that this wasn't going to work no matter how much I wanted it to. I could go on. And maybe one day I will. The reasons of why she did what she did are unclear. But what she did left a lasting impact. Do you think I like being in the state of not being able to trust any girl that shows any interest in me because of preconceived experiences? I'm tired of telling people how she broke me, only to have them say, "is that all? I expected more." It's not all. Obviously if this were as minor as everyone thinks it is, I would have moved on years ago. But as it is, I haven't, and talking to her will only make me angry. And I can't be angry if I'm going to call Polo soon. I'm not relaxed and I don't know what to say, so calling her will have to wait. But lets take it one step at a time. First a call, then we hang out, and eventually, I find out if she's with anyone and go from there. Last time on Apexsensatin : Now on Apex : Apex Archives : Next time on ApexsensatinI said a while ago that I would tell everyone exactly what was so bad about this pseudo relationship with T.E.N.T. that I thought I had. I think I have the words now. Not only can I tell the story to you in person, but I can also tell you in writing.