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May 27, 2004 // 9:47 p.m. // Chances?
I've typed this entry twice and both times they came out incredibly jumbled and with a, "you had to be there" vibe. So I'll try to condense it. I went to a concert last night and ran into the same two people from a high school creative writing class that I saw at a show a week ago. In addition to them, I saw a third, a girl who went from annoying me like nobody else has to being pretty cool there as well. I wasn't sure it was her, but after it was confirmed by one of the above people, I decided I'd chat with her to see what she had been doing lately. Both chances failed however when she walked away just as I approached. I suppose it's my fault for waiting a few minutes for my nerves to settle and then walking over each time. I had a minor attraction to her in high school and when I saw her last night, I found her to be very attractive. The smile was the same, but everything from her hair to her clothes looked different. There was almost this minor makeover thing going on. I never got my chance to talk to her. While waiting in a merch line, she ended up leaving. It wasn't the first time this happened. Earlier this year, I ran into someone from the same class at the same place and ended up not talking to her either. I don't know what's going on in my head to where I can't just walk up and talk to these people. Wait. Actually I do. I'm always worried that it's the wrong person. Even when I'm as close to being 100% sure without actually being 100% sure, I never do it because I still have this worry I'll be wrong. Earlier this week I had this dilemma and waited for her to walk up to me. Fortunately she did. In one of the linked entries, I wrote, "I'm vowing to myself that if I run into her or any of the other people on that short list again, I'll talk to them." And I didn't. I realized long ago that just because I say I'll do something, doesn't mean it'll stick. But hopefully I'll see her the next time that band plays (since I saw her talking to the drummer and her mom) and I'll talk to her then.